I recently spoke with someone about the concept of toxic empathy and how the phrase feels like an oxymoron. They replied that when they are uncomfortable challenging someone on their sin, they are over-empathizing (demonstrating toxic empathy). I think that may reflect a common misconception about empathy, that it makes us hesitant to speak truth. But I wonder if that hesitation is more about self-preservation, or even a misguided approach to helping someone wrestling with righteousness.
How much more powerful could it be if we took a moment to empathize with the other person's struggles? Once we understand the helplessness, frustration, etc. they may be feeling, we may become at once more determined to walk alongside them, while also being more patient and measured in our own truth-speaking.
What gets labeled 'toxic empathy' or 'over-empathizing' is often just self-protection in disguise. We call it too much empathy when it might actually be not enough courage.
And your instinct is exactly right: genuine empathy doesn't make truth-telling harder, it makes it more humane. When you actually feel what someone is carrying, you speak with more patience and more staying power, ,not less honesty. That's not a compromise of truth. That's what truth-telling with love actually looks like in practice.
Love it!
No.
That simple. Amen.
This is so good!
I recently spoke with someone about the concept of toxic empathy and how the phrase feels like an oxymoron. They replied that when they are uncomfortable challenging someone on their sin, they are over-empathizing (demonstrating toxic empathy). I think that may reflect a common misconception about empathy, that it makes us hesitant to speak truth. But I wonder if that hesitation is more about self-preservation, or even a misguided approach to helping someone wrestling with righteousness.
How much more powerful could it be if we took a moment to empathize with the other person's struggles? Once we understand the helplessness, frustration, etc. they may be feeling, we may become at once more determined to walk alongside them, while also being more patient and measured in our own truth-speaking.
What gets labeled 'toxic empathy' or 'over-empathizing' is often just self-protection in disguise. We call it too much empathy when it might actually be not enough courage.
And your instinct is exactly right: genuine empathy doesn't make truth-telling harder, it makes it more humane. When you actually feel what someone is carrying, you speak with more patience and more staying power, ,not less honesty. That's not a compromise of truth. That's what truth-telling with love actually looks like in practice.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Carmen.
A worthwhile read.